But today I just wasn't up for it. Long meetings at school, an extra hot classroom which leads to an extra stinky classroom, made me think maybe I would skip the meal today. Then I changed my mind as I got off the el, but then . . . I missed my bus, so I would have been 15 minutes late. . . so my mind shifted back to being settled with not going. My guys will be there next week. . . it was a sunny day, so there should have been plenty of volunteers. I began walking home.
Within two blocks I giggled to myself as I figured out why God let me shift back and forth in my thoughts, and miss my bus. Up ahead I saw two figures, instantly recognizable. Myhonia and Tahmyia Day were strolling along sharing a smoothie. So cute, these Day girls. So I let out my now-stereotypical 'Hey gurrrrl!' and the two Days turned around. Once they separated I got really excited because up ahead I could see Miss Myeisha, the third Day sister. The Day family refers to me as "Myeisha's Big Sister" in reference to Big Brothers, Big Sisters. Hmmmm, Myeisha is great. Of course she is walking a block ahead of her sisters. Whenever we walk somewhere in groups Myeisha is on her own, a block ahead.
Here are the three Day girls at the Franklin - - - Myhonia is doing her signature pose on the rock wall. : )
God turned my frown upside down. The Father could have had me walk my mopey self home, complaining in my mind about all the bad things I think are happening to me. Instead He was abundantly graceful again and reminded me gently how in control He is, and how much more I need to continue to hand things over to Him and trust. Trust. Trust. Trust.
So when I have my sad days and I am overwhelmed with my sin, rather then overwhelmed with grace, God finds ways to remind me that He will use me despite myself. Despite the theological battles that rage in my mind, the subtle truths come through. God is good, He is in control and He loves. He loves my girls, He loves the homeless and He loves me. All things work together for the good of those who love Him. . . .and the best part? We are only able to love Him because of Him . . . so its a neat little cycle where He reminds us of His goodness and hugeness while we get blessed just by being caught up in the cycle.
Hmmmmmm, and I get to hang out with these kids, these girls. This is good stuff. I am so glad to be a part of it. . . but don't ask me on a night when I am forced to walk home with tons of bags from the weekends because the 47 bus is really late and no cabs will stop. The enemy is trying to nudge me off course, but I really pray that one day I can lift my nose off of the grindstone and say - - - I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith . . . all by His strength and His glory, in the words of my roomie's mom- P.T.L.